How About That Man From Stuttgart, Loki?
by Sanna Black Slytherin
Summary: Tony wonders about Loki's orientation. Loki denies. Thor 'helps'. Clint smirks.


**Title:** How About That Man From Stuttgart, Loki?

**Author:** Sanna Black Slytherin

**Summary:** Tony wonders about Loki's orientation. Loki denies. Thor 'helps'. Clint smirks.

**Pairings:** implied pre-slash Tony/Loki. Or, well, not exactly implied, and not exactly slash. More like Tony Stark being Tony Stark and Thor interpreting it in his own way.

**Warning:** Tony/Loki pre-slash implications, swear words, adult language, and Tony Stark being Tony Stark.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Marvel characters. If I did, the next Thor would be already in filming.

**A/N:** This idea came from watching the Avengers yet again. How come nobody has realized how suggestive Loki's dialogues are in the Stuttgart scene?

Enjoy and don't forget to review!

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"There's one thing I've been meaning to ask you, Loki," Tony began, interrupting the comfortable silence that reigned over the Avengers Tower. Bruce was reading a book on Norse mythology in an attempt to educate himself in the ways of their Asgardian friends.

Clint was sprawled sideways on an armchair, his legs dangling over the armrest. His attention was consumed by the StarkPhone Tony provided him with. He whooped as the yellow bird he threw hit and killed all the pigs. The message, 'Level complete!' popped up on the screen, along with three golden stars. Clint grinned – this game was fun.

Steve was trying to teach Loki the Midgardian tradition of drinking tea. Loki consented that tea was 'bearable, but nowhere near the quality of the Asgardian drinks of power'. Steve sighed, but didn't argue. Natasha was absorbed in the newest 'Hunger Games' novel, 'Mockingjay'. She wasn't much into romance, but she enjoyed the way Suzanne Collins wrote the explicit fight scenes.

Tony was mindlessly flipping through the channels on the big plasma tv. Thor was watching the tv with interest but made no move to stop Tony from playing with the remote. He seemed fascinated not by the television itself rather than the way Tony moved between the channels at top speed and yet knew what was on them.

Loki stopped his discussion with the Captain and raised a lazy eyebrow at the billionaire. He took a sip from the herbal tea he was handed by Steve. The tea was pleasantly warm, but not too hot, and Loki could admit he enjoyed the drink, even in the summer heat. "Go ahead, Stark. It's not as if I haven't already heard whatever it is you're going to say."

Tony loved to prove people wrong and this was no different.

"Okay," Tony said cheerfully. "Loki, do tell me – are you a transvestite?"

Loki discovered that tea and lungs were bitter, bitter enemies. "_St__ark!"_

Meanwhile, Steve looked at Tony with disappointment in his eyes. "Tony, what kind of question is that?"

Tony shrugged. "I was curious. Besides, he said nothing I asked could ever shock him."

"So you took it as a challenge."

Tony's voice was sheepish when he answered. "Maybe..."

Clint smirked into his StarkPhone.

"What – why – how – what the hell?" Loki tried to voice his indignity.

Tony started counting on his fingers. "There was that Stuttgart incident. Remember that one? I sure do," Tony said before anyone could interrupt him. "I remember you commanding everybody to, quote, 'Kneel before me!'."

Loki was pretty sure that if he didn't have such good control over his emotions, his face would be the shade of Thor's cape. "So what?" he said icily. Clint's smirk widened.

"Well, the one you were mainly addressing was a man. An old man, yes, but I realize that compared to you he's actually very young. Young enough for... certain activities," Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Steve groaned. "Only you, Tony, would interpret an attempt at world domination as an invitation to sex. Clint, stop smirking."

Tony ignored him. He turned to the god. "So what is it, Loki? Men or women? Or both?" he leered.

"Shut up, Stark," Loki said, standing up and swiftly exiting the room.

Tony frowned with mock horror. "Was it anything I said?"

Steve and Natasha smacked their foreheads with their palms in perfect synchronization. Clint's smirk would make the Cheshire cat proud. Bruce didn't look up from the book he was reading, but if one looked carefully, one could see the corners of his mouth twitch in amusement.

Then Thor caught on. "Son of Stark, are you courting my brother?" he boomed, which caused snickers to erupt around the room, mainly from Clint and Bruce (who was _not_ listening to this conversation, thankyouverymuch).

"I'm not your brother, Thor!" was heard from the adjacent room.

"Loki, brother!" Thor exclaimed. "I believe the brave warrior Stark is courting you! Do you believe that as well?"

Silence.

"At least give him a chance, brother!"

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**A/N:** So anyway, my first attempt at an Avengers fic. What do you think? Did I do good or did I totally mess up?


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